Preparing for your EMDR sessions

Once you have been scheduled with an EMDR provider, you may want to know what to expect. Read below for a detailed look into the process. 

What is EMDR?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured, trauma-focused psychotherapy that helps the brain process distressing experiences that may continue to affect you in the present.

EMDR is more than eye movements or bilateral stimulation. It is an eight-phase therapeutic process that includes assessment, preparation, identifying treatment targets, reprocessing, stabilization, and ongoing evaluation.

Treatment is individualized based on your history, current concerns, goals, developmental needs, resources, and readiness.

Will I start EMDR during my first session?

Not necessarily- and that's completely normal.

Before trauma processing begins, your therapist needs to understand your history, current symptoms, treatment goals, coping abilities, resources, and overall stability.

This may include discussing:

• What you're experiencing now
• How past experiences may be affecting you
• Current triggers, symptoms, and patterns
• Your emotional regulation and coping skills
• Your support system and available resources
• Your treatment goals
• Any concerns related to dissociation or feeling disconnected
• Whether you are ready to approach particular material

This assessment helps your therapist determine what to address, how to approach it, and when processing is clinically appropriate.

Preparation is not a delay in EMDR. Preparation is part of EMDR.

Why doesn't EMDR start immediately?

EMDR follows a phased approach. Before processing difficult memories, your therapist may help you develop grounding, emotional regulation, and other coping skills.

Your therapist will continually assess whether you have enough stability and resources to engage in trauma processing without becoming overwhelmed or significantly destabilized.

Some people may be ready to begin processing relatively early. Others may benefit from more time to establish safety, develop resources, understand their symptoms, or strengthen coping skills.

There is no "correct" amount of preparation.

How many sessions do I need before starting EMDR?

There is no universal timeline.

Readiness is not determined simply by counting sessions. Your therapist considers your individual clinical presentation, circumstances, coping abilities, resources, and treatment goals.

Some clients may begin processing relatively early, while others may need more preparation.

Neither timeline is better or worse.

What happens during EMDR?

EMDR includes eight phases that may involve:

1. History & Treatment Planning: Understanding your history, current concerns, goals, and treatment needs.

2. Preparation & Resources: Developing safety, coping, grounding, and emotional regulation strategies.

3. Assessment & Target Identification: Identifying memories, current triggers, beliefs, emotions, or body sensations that may need to be addressed.

4. Reprocessing: When clinically appropriate, bilateral stimulation (BLS)—such as eye movements, alternating sounds, or tactile stimulation—may be incorporated while you attend to aspects of the experience.

5. Installation of Adaptive Responses: Strengthening more helpful and adaptive beliefs or responses.

6. Body-Focused Assessment: Noticing and addressing physical sensations that may remain connected to the experience.

7. Closure & Stabilization: Making sure you are sufficiently grounded and prepared to leave the session safely.

8. Reevaluation & Continued Treatment Planning: Reviewing your progress and determining what should be addressed next.

Will every EMDR session involve trauma processing?

No.

Not every session involves bilateral stimulation or processing a traumatic memory.

Depending on your needs, a session may focus on:

• Preparation and stabilization
• Developing coping or regulation skills
• Current concerns or triggers
• Building resources
• Attachment or relationship concerns
• Reassessing treatment goals
• Another therapeutic approach that is clinically appropriate

EMDR is not about moving through a protocol as quickly as possible. It is about providing treatment that is appropriate for you.

What if I have experienced childhood sexual abuse or complex trauma?

Some experiences require particularly careful assessment and preparation.

Childhood sexual abuse and other complex or developmental trauma may involve repeated experiences, secrecy, shame, attachment disruptions, dissociation, threats, grooming, or complicated family and relationship dynamics.

The therapist is not simply asking, "What was the worst thing that happened?"

They may also consider how those experiences affect you today—including your relationships, sense of safety, beliefs about yourself, emotional responses, body sensations, and ability to regulate distress.

You may have developed protective responses such as shutting down, disconnecting from emotions or your body, becoming hypervigilant, minimizing what happened, or taking responsibility for someone else's behavior.

These responses may have helped you cope at the time. Your therapist will consider them when determining how and when trauma processing should occur.

You do not have to process the most painful memory first. A current trigger, present-day belief, recent experience, or another target may be a more appropriate starting point.

Does EMDR erase memories?

No.

EMDR does not erase what happened.

The goal is to help your brain and nervous system reprocess distressing experiences so that the memory can become something that happened in the past rather than something that continues to create the same level of emotional, physical, or behavioral distress in the present.

You may still remember what happened, but ideally, the experience becomes less overwhelming and less influential on your present life.

What if I need to slow down or go back to preparation?

That's okay.

EMDR is not always a straight line. You may begin processing and discover that additional preparation or stabilization would be helpful.

Your therapist may pause processing, return to preparation, address another target, or use another therapeutic intervention.

This is not treatment failure. It is your therapist responding to what you need.

Is EMDR appropriate for everyone?

EMDR may be helpful for many different concerns and life experiences, but treatment is always individualized.

Your therapist considers your history, symptoms, developmental needs, current circumstances, resources, treatment goals, and clinical needs when determining whether EMDR—or another therapeutic approach—is appropriate.

For children and adolescents, treatment is also adapted to their developmental stage, communication style, and individual needs.

What should I expect from my therapist?

EMDR is a collaborative process.

You should have an opportunity to understand the treatment approach, ask questions, communicate concerns, participate in treatment planning, and discuss your preferences and goals.

Your therapist may ask:

• What are you experiencing now?
• What would you like to be different?
• What experiences may be contributing to your current concerns?
• What strengths and resources do you already have?
• What skills or supports might be helpful?
• What treatment approach may be appropriate?
• Are you ready to approach particular material?
• What pace feels clinically appropriate?

Your treatment plan may change as new information emerges or your needs change.

You remain an active participant in your treatment.

What if I don't know exactly what my trauma is?

That's okay.

You don't have to have every answer before beginning therapy. You don't have to know exactly what happened, and you don't have to decide on your entire treatment plan during your first appointment.

The first step may simply be understanding what you're experiencing and determining whether trauma-focused therapy, EMDR, or another approach may be appropriate.

Your pace matters.

There is no race to get to trauma processing.

The goal is not to begin EMDR as quickly as possible. The goal is to create the conditions where therapy can be safe, effective, collaborative, and appropriate for you.

Trauma may be part of your story. It does not have to define the rest of it.

Information provided by:
Kristin Dalzell, LMFT
AAMFT Clinical Fellow
EMDR Certified Therapist
Gottman Method Level 1 & 2
Trauma-Focused & LGBTQIA-Informed